- My brother is 16 years younger than me and we rarely lived in the same place
- He had a very different childhood from me, and we had different parents.
- But over the years, we’ve realized we have a lot in common.
At 13, Winston was already taller than me. I found this out at my wedding – my younger brother was, in fact, taller than my husband. At that point, we hadn’t seen each other since four years earlier, when our grandmother brought him to visit me in Asheville, North Carolina.
I was 16 when Winston was born, already leaving home as he was coming into the world. His birth was a surprise, although a welcome one.
We had different childhoods
I was defiant but smart and transferred to a public school in my junior year when the prep school I attended didn’t invite me back at the end of 10th grade. I was eager to grow up and ready to be done—I ran away from home for a full week that fall.
Coming home, I wanted a way out – and when I set my mind to something, I do it. I ended up graduating early by taking a class at the University of Pittsburgh for my last credit in English and skipping my lunch period to take the mandatory fourth year of PE. I was accepted to Chatham College (now Chatham University).
Winston was barely a year old when I graduated and started preparing to leave home. Then my parents moved to London during my first year, and we were in different continents. We had very different childhoods with very different parents.
As a child in the 90s with two mothers in an interracial relationship, my existence baffled my peers. They asked me how I was conceived and they assumed my mom Casi (who died in April) was my biological mom because I look white. My mothers separated when I was 8 and my birth mother met my stepfather, Norman, Win’s father.
My mother was 38 when she became pregnant with my brother. She had more life experience, which fostered new perspectives on parenting. I went to multiple schools while Win was homeschooled. I received an exceptional traditional education. Win was able to explore his interests in depth and started his own business, Escape from the black dreambefore he turned 18.
Nia Springer-Norris and her brother Winston had different childhoods. Courtesy of Nia Springer-Norris
We never spent much time living in the same place
And we have always lived in different places. While he was in London, I was in Pittsburgh. I went to Leeds, the family moved back to the States. I moved to Asheville and then Portland, Oregon. When I returned to Pittsburgh, Win moved to Northern California with our parents. Now, I’m in Illinois and Win, my mom and Norman are in Pittsburgh.
A short relationship with my parents led to a long one periods of departuremeaning that Win and I didn’t get a chance to get to know each other until our family started to heal after my daughter was born in 2016. But it’s hard traveling with three young children and my mother is now going through a chronic illness, so we don’t get together as often as we would like.
Nia Springer-Norris and her brother Winston have started spending more time together over the years. Courtesy of Nia Springer-Norris
However, we have come closer in recent years
But after my ex-husband died, I started making it a point to go home more often. OWN grandma is in her mid 90sand I want to take advantage of the time we have. I have enjoyed getting to know Win, who is a good-natured young entrepreneur. Now that we see each other more, my kids love seeing their “Uncle Win”.
We have different relationships with our mother, both involving business partnerships. My mother works with Win in his business and I have partnered with my mother in her fashion and home goods enterprise. Mmmm, yes! Our differences have somehow intersected and now we have more in common than I ever thought.